Three/4 mistakes of my life

I was at my friend's place and fortunately unfortunate enough, or maybe unfortunately fortunate enough, forgot to carry any of my engineering books in order to pretend that after a pathetic performance throughout the semester I am worried about my exams and wont be studying last night this time.

So I had to engage myself in something better than Facebook, buying people or their photographs at the Application OWNED and become a disillusioned millionaire

So then I wikified the wonky shelf of novel corner of my friend's elder sister and found the new release
The three mistakes of my life~Chetan Bhagat!!!!
And then I made my mistakes
My first mistake:: picked the book::
Second mistake:: read it::
Third mistake:: completed it::
Fourth:: i am writing about the book::
No fourth one is actually dicey thing to say as of now because I don't think anybody so pseudo intellectually strong ever bothers to read CHETAN BHAGAT!

The story is basically about a man Govind Patel from Belrampur(Gujarat) who writes a suicide email to Mr Chetan Coelho I mean Chetan Bhagat after popping sleeping pills.
Actually the book should be named as
"Govind decides to die”
or
“Chetan wants to become Paulo Coelho"
And the heights of shamelessness is attained when he directly produces lines from 11 minutes. Seems someone is too ignorant to even give a thought that readers are not as dumb as he is.
Seems Mr Bhagat is quite impressed by hackneyed ideologies of Indian film directors who put item songs for mirchi masala in the movie.

Cricket rules India that is true but what he cant understand is cricket is not what readers prefer reading about all the time and a commentary from you was clearly the lowest thing associated to  history of Indian cricket 

Anyways in between his reminder clock strikes his ninth bell and he decides to put in the ghastly intercourse of five point someone or maybe as a scholar he has dark little fantasy of watching professor indulged in sex together. But then India is ranked second after Pakistan when it comes to watching porn and "Penthouse" has record breaking sales in India. So he doesn’t have to make it cheesy  and cliche. it has already got enough to make it Farah Khan’s next movie even if she decides to ask Nana Patekar to play  Govind.

Trying to portray a typical cynical Mr Narendra Modi's mystical saffron Gujarat what Chetan has forgotten is even though he has shifted to Singapore India is not relying for him for any development. Things have taken giant strides when it comes to change of saffron canvas here. But then our IITian dude is the coolest Dood when it comes to writing about

INDIA HIS : Murderland!

Guajarati’s will never like it because it is even worse than

Madame` Italy Sonia Gandhi unleashed

COMMUNALISM AND COWARDMENT/GOVERNMENT IN GUJARAAATTT!!

pondered thought!

Something you always try to find and something you are not aware of but as a social entity your primary attribute is the trait of searching for your replica, whenever you meet individuals here and there. And your friends are here because they are the least intolerable of all the people you meet .

mango-shake::cold-coffee`no electricity`

As a boy I am very perplexed. When it comes to handling my personal sightings. I am like any other normal college going student with an amalgamation of colour be it grey blue or even black. But then I am also a human being how can I have only lighter shades I need to carry my doom along.
When I try to be alone and don’t share my set of problems with anyone my friends say I am so mechanical and suffer from personal obsession and superiority complex that I am more mature than others. But the reality is am scared people might make fun of my ailment so I don’t like talking about it.
And this probably is not my problem.
Have you ever thought how many times you have ever bothered to listen to the reply from the person whom you asked a moment ago how are you.
do it not because you have to do it but becasue you like to do it!!

Lion king
::do not be upset if bloggers community gives a life time banishment

Yeah this Monday evening when I came back home there was no electricity and in the pitch of darkness a pack of hounds (swarm of my hit spray friendly mosquito friends) greeted me. They are like the gushing wind (as the shadows) because you can feel them (in fact the pain inflicted is quite memorable one) but cannot see them and if lucky get to touch few bastards that are too fat to fly after feasting on my sweet blood (my girlfriend says I taste bitter though:: of course I do not believe her because she keeps biting me every now and then).
Anyways I was not going to discuss these ridiculed creature or here to describe that my girlfriends taste buds has gone wild and she should consult a doctor, because before going to the doctor she should go to the mental hospital for the fact that she can bear me as her boy friend.
And If she is not visiting the mental hospital then I should probably get admitted to asylum for three reasons:
· First if she is not visiting the mental hospital because she is not mad till time then probably the most rational reasoning is she is crankier than me and then the responsibility falls to me that I will go crazy if I be with her so I should go to asylum.
· Secondly there is no better idea to dump your girlfriend than this because you don’t have to break a heart because you have already broken the ****.
· And thirdly the shit pots at asylum are really cool and you never get constipated. Constipation is a really bad problem here in Gurgaon you have to keep farting here and there, and keep polluting the environment ( you wont believe I just farted) and the most terrible thing is that fart word reminds me of my Sanskrit teacher now just don’t be ridiculous to ask me why I think that way, because I respect such creatures called teachers. No you can ask every teacher who teaches me specially saDNN no don’t worry I don’t fart when they make me stand.
Anyways what was I talking about I just got carried away and don’t think it was because of me it was a hideous attempt to get rid of my girlfriend I mean get rid of the mosquitoes.
This is a result of Robert’s food ,Haider’s company, siddhart’s jokes and these moder fucker mosquitoes biting me at three this morning.
Hey please note that I don’t have a girlfriend I just wanted to check out that am I that horrible that I can degrade myself to this extent to just prove that girls are insane.
I just wanted be my self for once as I am a manipulative jerk (refer to initial post for further details)
My god you are still reading just check the nearby asylum its really cool.

Sudds of ITM::first member!!

These are few amazing questions by Ms Deepna Verma a very promising member of the supandi club.
what do you call the knee of a bee??
BI-KI-NI!!!!
What do you call a soldiers wife climbing stairs??
CHADHTI JAWANI !!

a tribute to study of relationships

Recently watching a song called salaame (nayee raat hogee …something like that) from movie DHOOM I was keenly observing junior Bachchan and Uday Chopra and their facial turbulence that was evident on the camera. How they were reacting to, thwarted themselves.
I was just thinking that ten years down the line they will be so differently accustomed to films.
One is the famous producer’s kiddo who wants to act, ignorant to the fact that his expressions are topped with oodles of overacting and dollops of annoyance. The father is trying hard to get is son achieve his dreams but alas!!
On the other side is Abhishek. Well I won’t like to comment as the name is sufficient to let things go, the aura pulsates the atmosphere.
So then what happens within a decade …..
Abhishek becomes the most established actor of the Hindi film industry and Uday Chopra becomes one of the tycoon ,throwing and spilling money, producing ventures mostly with Abhishek of course.
So what I see is how things can take off too. Though if they can introspect and think about their future these stars can obviously come to their correct linage of future but these people lack and hoi polloi (including me) have in plenty and that’s hunger for thoughts.

Sudds of ITM::rotten jokes!

...a bunch of cranky people who are definitely humans by origin but just after their premature mental birth they were transported to some lalaland called "tumbaktu". And since then they have not agreed to be back to the normal world of humans.But then they are better than us in the sense that they have proved that world is all about reasoning in a highly distinguished way.


The speciality of this bunch is there particular style of pj recitation the blends so well with their superb personality...


The club comprises of members basically from computer science and IT branch...maybe the adverse effect of technology was never so pronounced in my world... few big titans like Megha Wadhwa ,Ankna Kukreja,Siddharth Singh,Karmveer Bindra,Deepna Verma,Priyanka Kapoor and Anousha Venkat.


People who come online in the evening to recite their rotten and hideous Pjs and believe me they are not Pjs but questions with ultra-abso-fuckingly deadly answers which can just make you sick.!


But then they are great people around who can change your world and your level of thinking....in fact these creatures have influenced my notorious "profound thinking" trait and it has just vanished!!**Life is much more better now**


So i want to dedicate my blog to such a throng ..the ignited minds of the college.So i have decided i will be posting each and every joke-cum-question they are going to ask me.....


please bear along as you can check out some inspiring stuff here [:p]

avowal....can this make someone happy???

wake up ...as i am back....make fun of me ..... for i am back...criticise me ... yeah i am back .....but read me .....as i have plenty to vomit....i am back because off late i have realised that my albatross is not gone....probably it never can.....yeah i am a bin for him...but then i am not left....he hates me .....sick of me....but then i succeeded....he is not indifferent towards me...yeah he is leaving....and he doesn't want to be associated to some manipulative jerk!!
And what makes me a jerk....
I always dreamt of the wild black mustang. The royal shine that it possesses, the black that glitters like pearl to show how magnanimous it can be for the rider. People said wild mustangs are not to be tamed, they are not faithful. Riding them is really dangerous because one moment the rider is filled with pride galloping in the grasslands and the other moment (before lightning strikes and then thunders) the rider can fall off. The pride just vanishes dumping you in the mud of humiliation.
But then that’s the fun.
I always use to crave for a mustang though I had a akhal teke.
I always use to wonder where to find this mound of fame . Wandering on unknown ventures till one day my mind spotted it. The gold black mustang. I could easily recognise my share of fame. And then …..Began the chase!! .
I had some dreams and I chased them with all my strength .I was on my horse, wild and mighty. I applied all the mental and physical tricks I could apply and that came to my mind in order to chase the wild black mustang. And I was not wrong.
And when the ninth moon rose this month I felt as If I have risen from a deep sleep. A sleep that changed me and my thoughts. Because when I have achieved it I realise that I have lost something else that cant be back, something that I shouldn't have had bet. My horse!! I have hurt my horse and every time I look at it I realise that how tainted I have become …..this was not me…..indifferent and stoic towards my horse, my people, my principles and my true self!!
..........................................................
those who couldn't understand let me state some facts ...!!but come to me because i am no less than "wannabe" ......

This is my last blogpost......as my albatross is going to take off!

DESTINY IS A POWERFUL WORD. You can discard it with the hefty and obscure interlocution of faith and confidence and you claim that you are swimming in the river of life in the direction you want to. But to be very honest you realise that you are not swimming, instead you are flowing. It is not your will that is deciding for you but the current of the river does it. And since you are comfortably numb you don’t realise that your definition of freedom has been gradually altered.
Even I was one amongst the swathe but as I say destiny is a very powerful word it cooed to me in my ears “stop being comfortably numb welcome to existence!”
The life began with a splendid show as I started as one happy and enthusiastic sailor who wasn’t aware of the enriched and vibrant life of the sea. Life was bright, sunny, cloudless and gentle wind blew. I had plenty to prove and plenty to learn. But before I could grow into an experienced sailor with a throttle of confidence I experienced the prowess of destiny. Destiny is a powerful word I believe.
Suddenly cold wind started to blow and it grew dark. I looked at the growling and roaring sea and prayed to calm down. But alas a strong tyrannous and ghastly storm took me on its strong wings of wind and dumped me to some unknown land.
The sea that I had as the family refused to take me back into it. I felt awful. I wanted to prove that I am his own. I slashed my wrist and down came the stream of blood that dropped to the sea. But I was flabbergasted when the blood refused to mix with the salty sea water. Then the sea roared at his top of the voice that the blood I always believed was flowing in my veins had come from the salty sea water, is not actually its. Because the blood is not capable to show its royalty. I a failed sailor can’t be mighty sea’s son. The sea humiliated me saying I belong to some rotten marsh that has ceased to exist. I was ripped into pieces, my soul howled in pain but I tried my best to hide my anger and agony. Every night I promised myself I won’t cry till next night. And no one will get to know about my torment and anguish. But destiny is a powerful word….
I said nothing but my slashed wrist screamed a lot. I was back sailing in the sea.
The sea got harsh than before, it was hot and cruel .Water was every where but all salty, it reminded me of the blood I never belonged to and so I decided I will never drink and I drank my own blood when I was thirsty. I was left in seclusion.
Then came a day when a very strong and beautiful albatross came to my withered boat and sat. It said nothing but I felt it was here to be for me. Here to take me away from this cruel sea. and I started dreaming of living with him under his wings.
It touched my wound and miffed. And it gradually started to heal. He allowed me to sleep under the soft canopy of wings. All the suffering was gone(ALL!!)
My faith grew stronger day by day that this truly belongs to me and the albatross stayed. He said nothing but his silence let my hope grow. I thought maybe I should learn to listen to the silence and I tried my best.
And one day the albatross said he is not going to stay here forever and started to spread its wings to take the flight. He said he has too many things to do and he can’t concentrate on me right now. He said he has a future to look forward to. And I couldn’t say anything because he was correct. I was one abandoned kid who belongs to no one. And it is not the albatross that destiny had sent for me. It wasn’t his fault but where was I wrong?
Probably no one has the answer too. Because as I said DESTINY IS A POWERFUL WORD!! I wish I could prove my saying wrong but I have no albatross by my side to do that!
So here existed the blog for the albatross who made me a different person altogether. And now when he is about to fly I am not strong enough to keep visiting the corner where my albatross sat, so I am shutting this corner forever. I am not going to write, something I use to love the most. This is the punishment I deserve for myself.

The art of living for a teenager

Personally I believe truth lies beneath the shadow of existence as life is more like a continuum rather than eggs of the wind consequently being good and acting with the right opinion are two different aspects of subject matter.
The highest form of human excellence is to question our self.
Moral excellence is more a matter of divine bequest than parental nurture so we shouldn't blame our parents for everything we do. Our actions should have full faith on our self. As our wisdom is limited to an awareness of our own ignorance and being an active interlocutor of celestial conversation the best way for us to live is to focus on self-development rather than the pursuit of material wealth.

hi!!
finally i am home.it feels great to be here.
speaking about the journey,respite of the numerous wishes of happy and safe journey from idea hutch airtel and mtnl sim card holders i had a horrifying experience travelling in a sleeper class.
They could not save me from the great trap of stinking cocoon but yeah they were of great help when i wanted to sleep ...i read and reread them,i was bored till death and i slept.

In the morning i guess the the sun rays came to my compartment and reached my face much before it hit JAPAN(land of rising sun). Then i heard some alienated birds chirping in my compartment in a croaking voice....out of curiosity i peeped out of my rugged blue blanket to have a look at the bird, and to my great shock it looked like a BLACK homo sapien in red and purple stripped pyjamas.I recalled that my train had not started from eleven and half quarters, but the compartment had changed into room full of claokless witches and wizards and i was the only muggle left.
Scandalised to the extent i opened my eyes wide open and then came the realisation that they were not magical creatures but the whole orriya and bengali community chitchatting on the top of their voice.
So finally i woke up (as if i wanted to ) and was hungry as i had skipped my dinner last night.Thus i grabbed my brush and headed towards the steel yet reddish brown basin.To my surprise there was Little water dripping so i decided to clean my teeth nicely(judicious way of spending time)so i put a lot of paste on my brush and started enthusiastically.the reaction of paste wid saliva was vigorous and it started to burn.I tried to fetch some water from the tap but till then the water was gone. It was going unbearable so i rushed towards the pantry car for a bottle of water and in between i had a collision with the bathroom door that was suddenly opened by a big fat bengali lady...i got up as fast as i could and mumbled sorry and started my 200 mtr Marathon with the same "never say die attitude" leaving behind the abusing lady

Finally i reached the ultimate destination. no don't think that i got the bottle there ......because there i realised that my wallet is in the bag i was using as a pillow ...some how i managed water there(dont ask what did i pay).there i cleaned myself and munched the chilled toast frosted boiled egg and normal temperature coke.

while i was walking back to my compartment somebody as humming the tune "i walk the lonely roads on the boulevard of broken dreams"
when i reached my compartment the bengali community was fighting with the orriya regarding the way manmohan singh speaks .thanks to the fat lady i was busy tending my new whipped ankle where the pink flesh was smiling (on me).
so left with no option i sat on my berth trying to read india today about the recent political turmoil of nawaz sherif and Bhutto.....but trust me nothing can be read when u sit next to an auntie who can kill you with just raising her arms.....no not by her aura but the stink out from her armpits..i guess orissa really lacks in perfume soap and deodorant. and the best happened when i dozed off.
By the time i woke up i realised that my station was going to come at 2 10 n the noon and it was already 5 .But fortunately the cosmic jinx was broken and the train was running late by three hours.so then my station came in five minutes and i came out of IT.
so i had a great time !!
neways how are you people going??
stay in touch because i am loving these mountains but these mountains really hate network be it airtel idea or hutch.
o keep mailing and try to be online at eight
cyao

Glossary of institute of technology and management

Ever since I came to this college I have always wondered and pondered about the peculiarity of this college. It has got codes about everything. It speaks a different language apparently parallel to the normal language of communication. In fact you learn fresh ABC theme here. So I started noting the encryption and deciphering it .and now I am all set to share it with you. Here it goes…….

A for Attendance: This is what tops the priority list of the students here as lions share of internal assessment is on the basis of this. The scope for proxy is very nominal which makes the scenario worse. And that is precisely why the loudest hues and biggest fuss during any event here is “what about attendance…will we get 100000000000000000% percent attendance for participating ??” what ever be the event.
B for Bunking: It is like denim pants in the wardrobe. It is never out of fashion, you feel very comfortable when you are in it and you are never bored of it. Ask the novices and they say “I am loving it”
C for Canteen: The only place where you can mark cent percent attendance. It is the best place you can ever think of when it comes to completion of lab manuals ,tutorial sheets and of course EGD sheets
D for Discipline: yeah whatever…next please!!
E for Engineers
F for Fine: It is all about cell phones. If it has to be your bad then you take out of your pocket and you see blue uniforms approaching you. No matter how many times you try to argue that you were not using it the princely amount of fine is to be paid.
G for Greenwood: café greenwood a place dedicated to the bunking swathe for activities not to be mentioned if I want this to be on college magazine. It also wait for your cabs and enjoy the glued jittery maggy. You can sit there till you have mowed every inch of grass that came in your palm.
H for Himani: A complete guide to score decent when you are barely acquainted with the subject or even authors name of the subject book you are going to appear tomorrow.
I for Internal assessment : The sole reason behind the high level of endurance when it comes to sitting in the lectures, submission of tutorial sheets and decent code of conduct in the class
J for Jai mata di gang: A sentient throng who is never ashamed to reveal itself during the college fest. Literally the show stoppers. Sometimes they tend to confuse the participant and sometimes excite them. But whatever maybe the upshot these guys are definitely no less than celebrities here.
K:
L for LSE : The London school of economics, the most volatile part of the college to be more precise with transparent fumes. Their presence can be felt but you cannot see them. In case you catch a glimpse be happy.
M for Momentum: The only refreshing week where you see teachers bunking and letting you get out of the class midway in between the lectures.
N for Notice boards: The most happening and updated part of the walls of the college building always full of news, be it fine, suspension, or attendance shortage list. We also tend to see posters and advertisements of events going to be organised in some far off land (maybe IIT KGP or POWAI) the very next day and the super sonic jet also cant help you attend it.
O for Orkut: The social networking mode of our college where N people send (N-1)! Strangers friends requests with (2N-1)! Stupid reasons like I read your profile…you are KEWL respite of knowing that they are never going to be accepted .People discuss “hey dude /whats up/lollzz../okies/chal/gn/ tc bye/” ??
P for placements: Believe in the best, but request MDU examiners for the rest.
Q for Queries:
R for Restrooms: One of the safest place to check your messages because there are no cameras installed there.
S for Supplementary: neighbours envy owners pride. It is inversely proportional to the number of sheets you fill in the exam and is independent of the coefficient of “good answer”
T for Tutorial sheets: The most irrelevant piece of A4 size white sheet with questions written in maybe Arabic/French but certainly not in a language possibly known to us. But yes the answers are always ready to be submitted because one chap in the college cracks the code and the smarter ones copy it and that too with the corresponding spelling mistakes.
U for University: the most wonderful university in the country where we have exams on 1st of January and Christmas eve, and the session starts the very next day when exam ends.
V for Volley ball: The scorching heat is bearable or the rainy afternoon is enjoyable if there is volley ball match going on “volley khelne chale??” This is the best offer one can make when he wants you to understand that you are one of his best buddies in the college.
W for Water taps: The two most important landmarks of the college, when you feel like meeting someone who is not in your section or stream or year. A very clean and cold water supply unit where you can stand and discuss about upcoming events and plan your work in the next lecture like lets play Hollywood-bollywood or maybe lets complete the tut sheet.
X for Xeroxing: It is all about machines. Most of us are not good enough at multi tasking. So while chatting and messaging how can we copy down notes in the class. But don’t worry in the reference section there stands the magic man. You just give him a penny and you get to know what engineering academic material is all about
Y for Year back: Off late only few get the honour off availing this opportunity. It comes when you feel like bidding goodbye to the college
Z for Zoo: It is a zoo where you find all breeds of social animals chitchatting in a language known to very few……..I am still trying to figure out what do they talk about!!

short message service(SMS)

The new year has come .With all the enthusiasm and willingness it brought it also poured in a lot of messages ....the messages from well wishers like shruti,ankit,rahul and abhishek.
and thanks to these guys who think that their name is unique of all the names.
No i didn't demand to enquire about the marital status,sexual orientation,virginity and cup size.all i requested was the surname so that i can appreciate the fact that you thought of me on the great day of "paranormal celebration" !!
But anyways i was overwhelmed with the way people sent their heartiest greetings,so thankyou very much and wish you all a very happy new year too!

2008!!

BUT is it the correct time??
A time to be born,and a time to die.
A time to plant,and a time to pluck.
A time to kill,and a time to heal.
A time to weep,and a time to laugh.
A time to embrace,and a time to refrain
A time to get,and time to lose
A time to remain silent,and a time to speak
A time to love,and a time to hate
A time i say!!!

Bollywood is a fantasy factory. Its products do not aim to explain the world around us where as art has always been the best arm to explain the life of human being.

MY COMPLAINTS FROM MEDIA

The media has two main aspects, as a part of what is known as information industry and as a factor in the formulation of opinion. In both respects, it has to act with responsibility to be effective or reliable. The Press is still the main medium of mass communication. Besides its educative role, it can help in exposing the weaknesses of the democratic system and point out how these can be rectified. This two-way traffic enables the Press to maintain an important and strong link between the public and the system
But the face of electronic and print media is no longer inclined towards the work of making the readers and viewers sentient of the parameters of the incidents and developments transpiring across the globe. It has been metamorphosed into some corporate modus operandi of selling the products. It has been commercialised beyond its elastic limits. None of the channels available today is ready to project the gross of the occurrence, instead all it cares for is the total rating points.
Going by the standards, journalism is the discipline of gathering, writing and reporting news, and broadly it includes the process of editing and presenting the news articles which should be unencumbered by jargon. It is mesmerising indeed to see a good piece of work travelling to continents through various hands
Books are not only a piece of written material it is a wave that travels across the oceanic world of voracious and awaiting readers and formulates the opinion of a wide swathe with different cultural and political background. So it should be cent percent filtered truth rather than personal fictions and fantasies. But it is very unfortunate to accept that the people who scratch their living (active or passive)have failed to understand their responsibility as the shapers of the society, they are vulgarizing and brutalising the society instead of purifying and sanctifying it. A new mutation of iconoclasm has brought enlightenment to a standstill. These days too many channels are chasing too little news. So the crowd is no longer interested in what the news is instead they are much more interested in personal opinions People want to know about people who are writing not about what they are writing. The prime focus is no longer to act like a bridge between action and report, instead it has become a school of inattention where people listen to it without hearing which has exponentially increased the lack of trust with entanglement of rumours culminating to cynical ideologies and principles. Enlightenment has been a long forgotten story...
.

profound desire

"I want to be the change i want from the society"

pondered paradox:

"our culture is glorified by non-violence but our freedom was born in blood and our independence is soaked in it!!"

My FMORT

0:00
i am tagged by http://umangexuberance.blogspot.com/

Everything tells me that i am about to make a wrong decision,but making mistakes is just part of life.What does the world want of me??does it wants me to take no risks,go back to where i came from so that i can repent that i never had the courage to say yes to life.life brings realisation,realisation that opportunity only knocks once...and so i should grab whatever it has to offer!Everything here is an illusion and this applies to materialistic as well as non-materialistic things as well.Anything i thought was mine forever was lost and finally i have realised that nothing really belonged to me.And if there is nothing i can tag as mine then what is the point wasting time looking after them....so i want to live beacuse i am not going to live long!

AXIOM::A cup of tea!

i make very nice tea but i never use to make one good cup of tea ,for a nice tea it had to be more than one cup .No matter how hard i tried one cup tea always use to turn up into some tasteless liquid.And so i always use to ask myself why does this happen.today i found the answer ...it is because i think tea is all about being gregarious.It is a way to socialise and spend time with your kith and kins!You like tea not because of its taste but because of the quality time that you spend.and the faith you have is always reflected in your actions that's why i said i believe

But i make very good "a mug of coffee " sip and introspect ALONE!! :)

JAIPUR FOR ME!!

I was recentl in jaipur and few things touched me so very much that i decided to put them up here!!
http://picasaweb.google.com/abhsahay/JaipurForMe

DEDICATED TO MY IDOL :PRAMATH MALIK

"त्वमेव माता च पिता त्वमेव ,
त्वमेव बंधू च सखा त्वमेव,
त्वमेव विद्या च द्रविणं त्वमेव
त्वमेव सर्वं च मम देवो देव।"

For me you are the mother and the father,you are the friend and the relative,you are the wisdom and the courage,the endurance and the strength,the stability and the equilibrium.
you are everything that i wish you to be .....truly human enriched and bestowed with every earthy element,love, care, anger, desperation,ANNOYANCE and still so focused....i believe you are the "via media" for my god when he wants convey something or preach something.....whatever he has decided for me is so very evident from your words so please don't stop speaking to me!!

miracle child rises again!!

The miracle child has started to feel that love is not something one can boast but at the same time there is nothing to conceal.
And thus finally the miracle child is ready to express what he feels about love ... for a while we swap souls so that he can pen down his thoughts......
My aim to understand love......i know how alive i felt when i was in love and now i know everything howsoever interesting it may appear doesn't excite me.
All the relations are fading or maybe transforming into suffocating chains.I am not saying that i am not in love with her anymore but living is difficult these days
i have no one to share with and the one whom i want to is not available due to his share of responsibilities and duties.anyways...
her presence can be felt but not solidified.She is like a gush of stream that i want to gallop in one go,it rushes around me .....but never touches me!I believe she can see me,but if she can see me then why does she wants to make me feel miserable?Is she not aware of the ailment i am suffering from?Is she happy to see me crying?
All my going around days i use to think about love as some kind of voluntary enslavement,but now i have realised that freedom is only present where love exists.The person who gives himself wholly feels freest.
True experience of freedom is having the most important thing in the world without touching possessing or owing her....i say this maybe because she is away from this world...but i am not Landon carter with a "a walk to remember"....i am a normal human being trying to live when everything is on the brink of getting drowned!
If i want to be faithful to someone then first i need to be faithful to myself.If i wish to preserve my true love then first i should get the mediocre love out of my system.
Because love is not eager it is always patient and kind,it is never jealous selfish or revengeful.It is always ready to excuse and let you fly...and is love is HOPE!!

In last three months experience i learnt a new language...the language very well known to the world but spoken very less....SILENCE!!

passing thought:

All religion are in essence
the same:they preach the fatherhood of God and brotherhood of man !!

##brio-doctrine ##

"Those who want to live, let them fight, and those who do not want to fight in this world of eternal struggle do not deserve to live."

why am i abandoned???

exhaling agony!!

I hate myself for all what I did to myself....I punished my soul. I repent for all what I did ...today have nothing to express ......or maybe to many things are swirling in the ocean !!so I am confused where to start from...I am hollow but still i need to write ...i need to get away from all what I am observing and expressing...the biggest problem is i am suffocated but I don't know the reason behind it....these days i get irritated very easily on petty things that I would have had easily forgotten ...and this is becoming lethal to my character......a stranger resides in me these days.....when I introspect I find I have lost the essence of being abhishek sahay...... everything is so very unabhishek about me these days...i keep behaving the way i can annoy people the most ...I want to stay alone ...i want no one to ask me questions,...i want My space...I feel there is a cosmic conspiracy going on to intrude into my hidden soul......a touch to my mind or eyes use to easily touch my soul....but now a days no matter how hard one tries ...(and that includes myself.)....no matter whatever may be the effort i am unable to feel my soul...am i losing myself. i have become so mechanical....every morning i wake up thinking how to solve the mess around.....the harder i try the more entangled it gets.....again in the evening i give up thinking next morning will bring a bit of light and hope.....but alas the day is yet to come.....i am nostalgic these days....i want to go to my place ....away from gurgaon......in the mountains where i can be reborn...i want to wash away the muck in me with the cold water .......very very cold...in fact i tried it thousand times but i guess i am polluted so deeply that every layer of my soul is to be skinned and sliced ..... i miss my parents very much ....i hate myself for staying away from them.....i wish i could be with them... BUT ..i am living with a parent ......the pramath ...a faith that hates to talk to me....he is not bothered to share ….but why will one bother to …who am i…a small peck in front personality so oceanic ........in a nut shell. .it is not his fault ...he never told me that he is going to be an integral my part of my life or he is going to guide me either and thither........i assumed........why??? because i believe he is my idol.....he is the one who is to be mimicked......he is the one who will set all standards and goals for me...every bar i have to break!!but he too is a human and i understand that constraint ....he has his share of duties and responsibilities. When I try to do something with full heart he says I am an idiot and tend to over do things for him……I believe everything I have achieved here is because of him …I know I stand better than many in this college…and all because of one person here…..yeah him..a man who never showed me a path to be followed but always inspired me to make one for myself…. …but he also needs to understand that I am no eklavya…..who can learn things without even listening to a single lecture of his mentor !
I am a small kid standing on the crossroads of life waiting for my mentor to come and let me hold his fingers and follow him!!! AM I EXPECTING TOO MUCH?????

passing thought : organised people are too lazy to look for things.....!!

THOUGHT OF THE MIRACLE CHILD : I am trapped in a bubble.The people around me think that my life is vibrant as the bubble appears to be full of colours,but alas from inside it is hollow,filled with nothingness.I am eroding in suffocation and the world is celebrating!!

i saw the lonely sun drowning in the sky! (still from my farmhouse)

collosium

We often say that mom you won’t understand …forget it you won’t understand. But have you ever bothered to think that why cant she understand? She could understand your needs when you were few months old, unable to utter a single word. A single gesture could make her understand what you need.
It is actually not about not understanding it is about what you wish to do in order to make her understand.
Sometimes I just wonder when people say, love is so beautiful. Being in love makes you feel celestial. And the parents become a long forgotten story. I just sometimes wonder, how someone you have known for twenty months, be more important than one who has loved you for twenty years. Yes, love is beautiful indeed but only if you understand the silver lining of love and lust.

I feel life is all about your mother. Actually life is like a journey of a rocky island. First it is born from the mother sea like a baby from any life form. She is thrilled to give birth and splits her organs to make space for her child. It starts to rise from the mothers drapes. The mother is always protective and tries to hide its kid from the peculiarities of life. She sacrifices her personal calm and peace and from disturbances that can create enough waves within her to hide her kid so that the dangers can be avoided about which the child is unaware. Initially the kid is insecure and hides in the mother’s breast very easily.
But gradually it grows and stands towering rebelling and repelling its own creator, mother. It abuses and physically repels the mother. It tries to destroy the mother’s caring waves which she wants to bestow upon him. Yet she thinks it is a craving to explore new things around her and she forgives her child. And the kid unknowingly keeps hurting his mother.
And finally, a time comes when the kid joins another island. They join together and try to restrict mother. In fact they restrict their mother so that she can’t even put her hand on the body of her son. whenever she wants to send her loving waves to the island t wash the dirt off her son, the soon tries to repel it, breaks the hand and forces her to retreat. But a mother is like the epitome of affection she keeps trying and sometimes during high tides full of emotions showers herself on the high rocky island. The mothers thirst is satisfied for a while. You must have wondered why the sea is so calm after high tide. I hope now you know why.
But nature has got her own set of rules. It makes sure that with time the mother remains strong enough and the kid gradually erodes. It is hit and re hit by the waves of the sea and finally withered into small particles of sand that are lead back to the sea bed. But there are also sons that remain so gradual in their gradient that the mother easily can reach every point of his body and there forms the mountains like Himalayas……truly respecting its origin and deep routed enough..always remembering where he rose from..always respecting the mother’s affections.
So if you have a problem with your mother, the problem is within you.

epitome of identity crisis!!

1.Pick out a scar you have, and explain how you got it?


i have symmetrical scars just above my eyes,all thanks to my habit of picking up fights


2.What does your phone look like?


i had bought a sleek and slim l7i last year but it has been converted into a touchpad ...actlly the first three layers of its keypad has been peeled off....and it looks like an ugly gadget.


3.What is on the walls of your bedroom?

on the left wall there is a huge shelf for my novels!!to the right i have a poster proclaiming
"no bulshit in my room please"

4. What is your current desktop picture?

Ishani

5. Do you believe in gay marriage?

no!!

6. What do you want more than anything right now ??
CROSSROADS should be a grand hit.

7. What time were you born?
afer POKHRAN nuclear test 10:47

8. Are your parents still together?

yeah

9. Last person who made you cry?

pramath

.10. What is your favourite perfume/cologne??
no personal favourites


l1. What kind of hair/eye color do you like in the opposite sex?

glittery black and eyes should be watery and black

12. What are you listening to?

skidrow and iron maiden ...blood brothers

13. Do you get scared of the dark?

darkness in life is killing bt otherwise darkness is a support when i like to be true me...u don't need to wear faces!!

14. Do you like pain killers?
not the tablets but yeah i depend on lot of painkillers like music and journals i write....they heal!!

15. Are you too shy to ask someone out?
nope!! i have done that couple of times successfully but these days i don't want people around ......i am happy with my memories!

16. If you could eat anything right now, what would it be?
chocolate brownie and vanila icecream topped with choco sauce

17. Who was the last person who made you mad?
pramath sometimes irritates a lot

18. Who was the last person who made you smile?
smiles faded long back!!

19. Is someone in love with you?
yeah a couple of them but unfortunately i have become a huge sponge...people try to send huge tides of emotions expecting me to send it baack but alas!!!.....and i am filled with a sense of guilt for that!

THE MIRACLE CHILD !!

There was boy in a very small town with very little facilities. The meekest of all, lean and thin ,ugly and introvert. He had poor friends to live with. He use to be scolded for his handwriting where as his dad had a very good handwriting. He could not study well and so was always hauled over the coals. As time passed his mom and dad realised that he is also shy and is always afraid to face the world. The sole rest to his slaughtered soul was his family. In a very large campus his father owned he use to feed his lunch to stray dogs and puppies. The child believed that a day will come when he will rise beyond all this pain and agony and the world will cherish and talk to him. His humiliated parents will be there to take pride of what their son has achieved. Inspired by a thought so untainted and divine he started with determination.

When he was in tenth standard destiny hit him harder. His father was shot by an assassin. By gods grace he managed to survive but unfortunately engulfed by acute paraplegia and was bed ridden. The person can’t walk or even talk properly and suffers enormous pain in thighs. The sixteen year old kid was shouldered by responsibilities and had to leave school for a year .when other kids use to go to school and listen to teachers, this boy use to sit next to his dad listen to the moans and cries. Others prepared for exams on their study table, this boy use to sit on wooden stool and attend to his father’s ailment and read books.
But the juvenile determination was no longer a sapling, it had routed like a tree। This time the lad aimed high. He dared to dream. The miracle happened and the child got better than those sitting in the study room. The juvenile determination grew with accelerating pace and stood firm. Hard work started to pay and he started to fetch excellent marks। With no guidance from teachers and studying in one of the modest schools he managed a good command over a couple of languages। But his parents were not there to admire him.

Full of enthusiasm the boy filed for the best school of his country. When he cleared all interviews and tests his parents explained the economical crunch and denied. The hopeful child begged for help from his relatives but like always was thrown away.He became a tutor and went to school. The child was a big lad now and his determination was stronger than before. The miracle returned back. This time the boy came up with flying colours and got admission in a decent college. Right from the admission to his survival in the big city he managed on his own. He saw other coming up with their parents to this new world and turned melancholy. He dreamt of his parents standing behind. The determination is still growing with an accelerating pace but a void has been created inside. Right now he has won three consecutive years prizes for best handwriting from Scottish society for calligraphy but his dad still don’t talk to him, the reason is different now, he is ill.
So where should he walk? What is his fault? Why has the destiny bestowed so much of darkness to his adjacent? I sometimes meet this kid. He lives very nearby some where close to my soul and always wants to ask “dad now will you talk to me?” can you answer him?
he is the miracle child!!

RATIONALE!!

I am an alien to this very lucrative world of blogs which has so much to offer. But my reason for being here is exuberance, exuberance herself, exuberance to write and to let my wild and unchannelised sentiments flow. There are times when i want to pen down my strong perceptions about certain things but i feel tactless about it or maybe i am scared. More than often I hear voices within me, voices producing different vibes, sometimes they energise me ,sometimes they tend to suck all my enthusiasm, sometimes they even provoke me for an action i should have taken on the spot and grip me with strong emotions say anger or joy something not extraordinary.
In fact I am not here to write about extraordinary things in an extraordinary way because I am not capable of, but I am going to try to write about ordinary things in a very ordinary way. Going back to what I wanted to convey, I want to express those voices through my pen, even though they seem to be volatile .I don’t know why am I doing this ,maybe because I have the intuition that this is going to give me immense pleasure and contentment. After a short while if I fail to continue I will erode because I will let my spirit decay. And for sure I can’t promise that I will keep writing forever. But if I don’t give it a try I might later regret for not giving it a try and let me soul be free for a while .I am not here to gang up and throw opinions on everything I feel like but I am here to express the inexplicable within me. So may I try and proceed??