abhishek sahay
"cantankerous,contumacious,cussed and determined Democrat"
MY IDOL:: PRAMATH MALIK
Friday, October 14, 2011
BRO CODE
Wednesday, August 10, 2011
Friday, June 17, 2011
Lost in there,somewhere!
Saturday, March 5, 2011
I request..
Thursday, February 24, 2011
why do i have so may whys ?
Wednesday, February 23, 2011
was she the beast and the beauty ?
Sunday, February 20, 2011
Doing the right thing!!
A lot of people made me important in their life and I was overwhelmed.
But that has cost dearly.I have damaged others relations knowingly or unknowingly and intentionally or unintentionally,but yes there has been destruction because of me.
I do agree I have made mistakes and others have made it too!
But the important thing is not who made more and bigger mistakes.The important thing is how to correct it.And now when I realize I want to mend it or hedge the damage I feel the best way is to walk out.Someone should. And it better be me.I should walk away from some lives and from those lives from which i have already gone I should fade away from their memories too.
Some are my friends who would not want this to happen but they should understand that their other relationship in their life that is much more than our friendship and I am happy to accept that they have set their priorities.
I know its not easy to do it but who said the right things were easy to do.I can experience it right now that they are definitely the ones that needs the most amount of courage and strength to sacrifice and even if I may sound foolish I would like to believe I am the strongest of the characters of this play.
Well what about me I have never doubted my art of being with myself even when I have people around me.I have learnt that happiness is not just celebration of an achievement sometimes it is also the peace of learning from failure,even if the failure is fatal to you as a person.
I know that there are somethings I am going to lose that I can never hope will return but the thought of doing the right thing will fill the gap.I hope I am doing the right thing.
This post is dedicated to people whom I have hurt and a declaration and reminder to self about what path should be followed.
Thursday, January 6, 2011
I am sand!
So i couldn't know how it feels to be soft.
Maybe that is why i am me!
Gradually you were so addicted to me you tried to capture me and closed your fist.
I was shocked by your behaviour.Your touch was no more pleasing so I slipped from your fingers.
I was burnt in the sun for such a long time in those deserts that i had no moisture left within.
But you mistook it that I had no emotions.
you thought i never cared but look at the way i transformed into dunes so that I can bring rain in your life. Of course I have failed but I wanted to be the oasis!
You kept me in your little transparent box on the table but I became your sands of time.I taught you to cry & laugh with the pain,celebrate life and see it even when there was a storm blocking your view.
I came in your eyes not to make you cry.But to see those pearls rise even in deserts,as oceans have them plenty but its rarity is only when you can see it in deserts.
As of no use you cast me away with wind but have you ever thought why the desert still has your fragrance?
You have walked those deserts and no one can see the footprints to where you went .
But i hold them close in my heart. No one sees it but i feel it!
I am still that sand that is tormented in those deserts with no strangers to care about !
Thursday, December 16, 2010
Even i was in love with you!!
Monday, December 13, 2010
hyderabad blues.
There are hidden layers to them.
He is one such human being that appears like an onion,you peel every layer and it appears totally different from the penultimate one.one layer says he wants to be the guy who studies to make sure his parents expectations are met.The inner one says make the woman your top priority.And the core says he wants peace in life.
And what about the complex layers in between, the layers which have thumb impressions of friends and people you cant even call friends.
some deep impressions!
Well there are some such impressions which makes his soul blue.oceans of thoughts that creates so much turbulence within him that sometimes he thinks he is drowning.
some figs that make the core.some twigs that help him float.
But twigs can help no more as the boy wants to be the man that needs no one to support,
probably because he wants to show that he needs no one to make sure he is alright,
because he is the one who makes things right in every ones life.
why am i blessed.
- very supporting parents: well mine are too good to be true.they ask me what is to be done in my life
- very good career: this everyone can have different parameters,sometimes being a peon also makes you happy so by that way i am about to have an MBA degree after an enginnering degre what else do i want.
- good friends: well i have alwyas been confused about them that should i call them friends or my own brothers. because they have behaved the way that sometimes its simply unbelieavble that they are just friends.
- good city too live:well i have Mumbai.
- good finacnial support: thanks to my people i have it.
- good girls around: well i have plenty around
Sunday, December 5, 2010
there lived a rude boy.
if not fair he was brown
he did glitter but was not gold.
always loud but was not bold.
there lived a rude boy.
he came and went
with everyone did time he spent.
they know him no one did swear,
as he was not what he did appear.
there lived a rude boy
his friends said his soul was cold
at least to peers that's what was told.
with emotions no one wanted to share
as they thought he dint care.
there lived a rude boy.
he laughed in groups all the time
devil may care that's what he rhymed
deep down he cared a lot
but he had no emotional spot.
there lived a rude boy.
cities came and cities went
where in journey of life the years he spent.
he ate his food and paid his rent.
but never were his problems lent.
there lived a rude boy.
deep down he was scared of rejection
always projected an image of perfection.
so no one could ever understand
that his dishes were also bland
there lived a rude boy.
in him was white sad pain.
that rushed through his vein
they said his laughter never died
but i did see the laughs lied,
with every breath he cried
there lived a rude boy.
Wednesday, November 10, 2010
Delhi hai meri jaan!
Four years has flown and i never realized that i am going to cherish these four years my whole life. A time when life was an over extended party,where relaxation and enjoyment was synonymous to breathing,we were careless and enthusiastic and no moment was dull.
I still remember the time when i was fresh in the college.
Life spin yarns of bonds that connect. It binds souls with a thread so thin that you never feel trapped but slowly the thread together tie us in such strong bonds that it wont break ever. they might not be our blood relatives but they are much more valuable than many.
Life happened to me when i was in this city.
Monday, October 18, 2010
DAWN
Saturday, October 16, 2010
and she did come
Monday, October 11, 2010
Sunday, May 9, 2010
A-Z i learnt from my friends.
Sunday, December 27, 2009
outrageous
Sunday, December 20, 2009
Sunday, November 8, 2009
sahib ka salaam!
Wednesday, July 22, 2009
EGO;sea
Wednesday, July 1, 2009
Alternate reality#1
But what if you have followed principles the whole life and they were over-ruled by an exception certain accident that changes the direction your life and the reaction is so vehement and vigorous that you just get carried away on this high tide.
Hatred then originates!!
Hate is a baggage too heavy to carry in the small and complicated geometrical circles of life.
It just converts you into something that is not even remotely connected to you.
you start to say that you are just fine and dealing like every second guy taking upon things as they are,but you are so soaked in it that you don't even feel that you are doped with the poison of hate.
Drop the baggage and you feel better
All you need to do is have a little perspective
:)
Wednesday, February 25, 2009
i dont know what should be the title so i thought better leave it to you sll
There are relationships that you don’t know exists yet they provide you shade in the scorching heat of noon of life. They are not necessarily tagged as a friend, brother, blood relation or any thing for that matter. You have a perception; and that carries the relationship, no matter how many fences you cultivate to keep it in a fixed dimension. It does not know any limits, it just keeps rolling and growing till it is so prominent that you feel a little scared about imagining life without it because you are grown so use to living with it.
And gradually the tree thinks creeper is creeping and overgrowing it. He doesn’t even get to know that it has become such an integral part of his life that he would be a lame duck without it.
And then tree thinks he is suffocated and all his share of sunshine and the nourishment is just absorbed by the creeper. The tree is just so helpless and thinks that he is going to die.
The leaves go pale, the branches are limp and not holding firm. He starts to hate the creeper.
Then tree thinks that the deciding point has come when either he has to just give up and wait for its organs to decay or he can fight. And he fights. forgetting the fact that he is fighting the same soul that he chose as a friend and the one who has done so many things for him.
With time the creeper is gone, it cant live forever.
And then tree covered with the decaying creeper branches realises it. Leaves left soggy and rotten. It reminds the tree of days when they use to be green together. The pink petals of creeper flowers amalgamated with the yellow flowers of tree use to look like a rainbow.
With the heat the creeper dead remains just withers from the bark of the tree just like the skin peeled off from the black cobra's body every season. Then he feels how secluded he is and craves for the time to travel back.
And the tree stands alone with the memories of the creeper fighting the scorching heat. It now regrets the time when he thought the creeper was snatching his share of nourishment. How foolish he was. That was because creeper wanted to cover him so nice and dense that nothing can harm the tree.Why did he argue with the creeper?
Alas! the creeper is gone and the tree just lost in the guilt.
Waiting for the one chance to say sorry to his creeper friend.
The nice people whom you meet and they really care are those creepers which never let you know that how much they love you that they want you to stay safe and nice at the expense of themselves. And you are just like that selfish tree who later laments that why didn’t he appreciate them in the right moment of time. If you are one amongst them then come join me. Even I am one of those stupid creature who never paid any attention to my creepers
Monday, February 2, 2009
A reason to all
Friday, December 26, 2008
rotten and timid..
Wednesday, November 26, 2008
CURFEWED NIGHT
Tuesday, November 18, 2008
Dance of life
The sand blew and the clouds grew.
Was it raining or the sky was mourning.
His dad threw him out,
Lost and lonely he walked the silent path,
Silent yet melancholy, melancholy yet not pitiable.
Lad was sobbing, sobbing made him shudder.
The shuddering was the dance of life......
Known to the known, yet very unknown
Reached the marsh, marsh was dry.
Tears streamed down the eyes.
Dryness soaked in his tears.....
Marsh was again alive
Tears that were for dad, dad suffocated his childhood.
Darker than darkest, he saw faces.
Faces that were painted, painted in black, grey and blue
But white faces were very few.
People rushed with cold vibes in zigzag.
Avoiding a collision with him.
The pattern of avoidance was dance of life.....
Wolves howling, caricatures climbing,
The artist in boy learnt to make faces.
Faces black, grey and blue.
Those asking for white were very few....
Winter came early in life, life brought calm.
Calmness spread its sheet in the life.
Boy smoked, drank and was making merry...
But he craved for faces; faces not grey black and blue...
But for white those only were very few.
The desires and dreams still existed in dreams.
Huh.....The dance of life.
Always painting in his cottage, cottage locked.
Lock tight, keys thrown in the river,
Some river cried...streams of white water rushed downstream.
There were knocks, knocks to be avoided.
Some called for him, others respected his seclusion,
Others were furious and abused...
But what for the knocking was the dance of life??
Knock knock..
One was the coldest knock ever,
The artist raised his eyes,
He knew death had come, to ease him.
To release him.
Take him to where he truly belong...
He threw all his painted faces...
Water from the river spilled all over.
It was horrible....
The death clasped him....
This was the dance of life....
People still come to make faces...
Faces black grey and blue...
But the one with white are few.....
Saturday, October 4, 2008
IF I ....talk to my heart
What I do and what I dream includes the one i love as the wine must taste of its own grapes.
If i would have had thought of makin the relationship work i would have had said.....
Love is a short sighted lava, erupts and then subsides. And when it subsides you have to make a decision. You have to work out whether your roots are so strongly entangled together that it is inconceivable that you should ever part. Because this is what love is. Love is not breathlessness, it is not excitement, it is not the promulgation of promises of eternal passion. That is just being "in love" which any of us can convince ourselves we are. Love itself is what is left over when being in love has burned away, and this is both an art and a fortunate accident.
It's so easy, To think about Love, To Talk about Love, To wish for Love, But it's not always easy, To recognize Love, Even when we hold it.... In our hands.
If i had to wait for her i would have had said .....
The things that you really want,you may not get that,because sometimes you don't make an effort up to mark and sometimes they are not destined to be.
Unfortunately i fall to the first category and i like to keep trying till the time my dream mirror is do not break ,and then re broken, till the time the mirror pieces turn into churns and dust of silver that glows and glitters which make you bleed when you touch them.
Maybe i am waiting for the time to be sure these dunes of glassy sand will make my castle.but since when did sand started to create castles.whom am i fooling.an apparent endeavour to let know and let be .
things might fall of track ..
I wish i could kiss you because a kiss is a lovely weapon, created by nature, to stop words when speech is incapable of expression.
If i would have had been waiting to see her walk away i would have had said.....
I tried to make wine but the aerobic respiration is making it poisoness gradually.
I finally can see things fading away,my chances growing feeble,the pulse about to stop yet i don't wish to stop and i am ready to drink the goblet of poison which i am tendering and attending to.
If i would have had loved you i would have had said .....
I miss you even more than I could have believed and I swear i was prepared to miss you a good deal.
Friday, August 22, 2008
FRIENDS::are we close or we are closed
every time i try to reach this place back i get lost because this is just as "the room of requirement " of the harry potter.you can not forcefully reach here ..its only when you are spontaneous and words are strongly felt you pick this blog space.
My path to it was guided by a strange feeling tonight aroused by personal demeanor to the linked listing of testimonial reading on the popular social networking site orkut.
I started to wonder what has happened to the term :friendship.
when the college started we joined hands to walk straight towards our common goal with fresh promises of being best buddies and closest pals.we gave short and sweet names to each other,worked diligently to make each other happy with tiffins and ice creams,small meets outside college that bashed about ridiculous Hindi movies,good Hollywood flicks in few joints of pizza hut,food court and baskin robins.
Gradually they grew up to birthday treats as well where people discussed about ridiculous college,absurd timings,opposite sex and hangovers .
The extended hands were together when few chose to make 'someone special' from the communion itself where "joining hands" turned to "holding hands" and tender caress.
what we materialised as Da kewl gang turned into a stabilised and well fomented icon of friendship
the cellphone cameras and 'pics/snaps' folder on laptops were flooded with pictures that could make celestial promises of staying together forever forever.....forever.
But what happens next.. does life takes a toll?did the boat in which all of us were sailing towards the common goal toppled?were we lost during the earthquake? or was it a tornado that swept us all and carried us in its wings to different direction so that we can never be together again?
NO nothing of that sorts ever happened, yet very tactfully and skillfully very similar to the way the Pangea became the continents we drifted miles and miles away from each other .............................
The gathering that were there, turned into a ritual to be performed just in order to pretend that we are still close.The discussions became endless and pauses turned into 'hey wazzup'.why these Communions don't seduce my spirits and has remained the way of pleasure retention for my soul like they were before.why has the same people not remained with us?
And today the miracle child asks me why did this happen?was it deliberate?was it holding all grey and ulterior motives?
Are we still close or we have closed and done with all this ?
My answer is though far fetched because even i have failed to understand that when we became friends we had things in common,now we turned out to be absolute strangers in terms of traits and behaviour.Friendship was not a forced hackneyed idea for us.It was a contemporary concept where we picked them unlike our ancestral bhajans and keertans yet we have failed to perform the friendship ritual faithfully as well......
Do i need to say we are absolutely confused genes which lacks the trend of introspection .
NO i am not done ..i wish to express more but then i cant bear it along because i am also one of the culprits !!
Monday, June 30, 2008
INDIAN AND AAMIR
The country widely pronounces its tolerance for cultural equinox as well as claims to have room for diversity. It is said that India supports more Muslims than even nations with cultural abyss, say Pakistan.
But like always promises widely differs from what is crawling on the pragmatic grounds. Its not only about giving space and food to eat.
The snails have long eaten the roots of brand equity called Hindu Muslim unity and the damage is irreparable to an extent that even the fine spring of cosmopolitan tradition haven’t healed much of the wounds created by the havoc.
And the ignorance not only comes from the illiterate rural areas subdued in the large cultural difference but also from the educated congregations.
Recently I saw a movie called AAMIR where the protagonist a highly educated classified doctor is forced through communion of tremors and accidents and physiologically knelt to surrender to the agents of misanthropy and iconoclasm.
He struggles till the end and that is where it becomes so very evident that how vulnerable he is and in a situation like him only few can survive the blow. The protagonist does so though, but what need to be understood is that everyone is not AAMIR.
We cannot just behave like one meek Gandhi’s monkey shutting the eyes and doubling the cover by putting hands on the eyes. What we really need to do is not an obsolete but an absolute cultural acceptance, which evolves from true philanthropist existence, when people see their countrymen dieing in the battles and terrorist tussles their tolerance towards each other vanishes resulting to a division of a mighty gushing stream of Indians into smaller distributaries called Hindus and Muslims.
This should be the antonym of the classical idea of what we call modern society.
Tuesday, May 13, 2008
Three/4 mistakes of my life
So I had to engage myself in something better than Facebook, buying people or their photographs at the Application OWNED and become a disillusioned millionaire
So then I wikified the wonky shelf of novel corner of my friend's elder sister and found the new release
The three mistakes of my life~Chetan Bhagat!!!!
And then I made my mistakes
My first mistake:: picked the book::
Second mistake:: read it::
Third mistake:: completed it::
Fourth:: i am writing about the book::
No fourth one is actually dicey thing to say as of now because I don't think anybody so pseudo intellectually strong ever bothers to read CHETAN BHAGAT!
The story is basically about a man Govind Patel from Belrampur(Gujarat) who writes a suicide email to Mr Chetan Coelho I mean Chetan Bhagat after popping sleeping pills.
Actually the book should be named as
"Govind decides to die”
or
“Chetan wants to become Paulo Coelho"
And the heights of shamelessness is attained when he directly produces lines from 11 minutes. Seems someone is too ignorant to even give a thought that readers are not as dumb as he is.
Seems Mr Bhagat is quite impressed by hackneyed ideologies of Indian film directors who put item songs for mirchi masala in the movie.
Anyways in between his reminder clock strikes his ninth bell and he decides to put in the ghastly intercourse of five point someone or maybe as a scholar he has dark little fantasy of watching professor indulged in sex together. But then India is ranked second after Pakistan when it comes to watching porn and "Penthouse" has record breaking sales in India. So he doesn’t have to make it cheesy and cliche. it has already got enough to make it Farah Khan’s next movie even if she decides to ask Nana Patekar to play Govind.
Trying to portray a typical cynical Mr Narendra Modi's mystical saffron Gujarat what Chetan has forgotten is even though he has shifted to Singapore India is not relying for him for any development. Things have taken giant strides when it comes to change of saffron canvas here. But then our IITian dude is the coolest Dood when it comes to writing about
Guajarati’s will never like it because it is even worse than