i am trying to be back with a stir in my mind a whirl in my heart but i don't know what to write about ...

i would have picked about the general knowledge questions that i had no answers to in my snap exams even after stressing so much on the general awareness booklet that i had tried mugging up last night ..

but then it aint necessary...it aint important..

then i thought of writing ..about sex...aha ...relations uff...girls aha ....juvenile bonds that tried to raise their hands to answer ...

but then whats their in all of this ..

the most important thing is my career orientation..

i am thoroughly confused...people say i am not made for software industry ...but that doesnt give me enough excuses to say that i am an mba kind of guy because the more i tried preparing for mba entrances i have realized that i am not even manager types..

i am more of agriculture based person ...or maybe writing about random shit that is not even noticeable in general awareness...that does not require even managerial skills from mba forget about learning java and .net...

then what am i doing here..in an engineering college .....dragging and pushing myself to career launchers classes every weekend ....

yeah yeah ...i look like a wannabe but then i am not one...

then what is all this leading me to....trying to satisfy my ego ..

so then that approves one point ..i am egocentric self obsessed rascal who just wants to snatch people's dreams like the way infosys was done...but that doesn't make me happy anyways ....what can make me happy?

the answer is simple..

i don't know ...

where do i get the answers then ,....

but this time it is not simple cuz if it was i would have searched for it..

there has been a thousand times when i have googled this question,..but every link just turns into another lecture on happiness ...fuck off

if being happy was that easy beleive me i would have had been an over-achiever...does that word even exist? i doubt so but then even i have learnt 25oo words in my preparation process...

and i have off late realized it hasn't helped me even a bit ...micro molecular spec...!1

but then its a part of it ...how can i deny....

denial is what i need right now ..

good bye..i have got the answer !!