outrageous

i am tired of hypocritical bullshit.the so called relationships,the bond,strength of threads that we have tied around each other but actually its a cobweb to alternate reality.will this socializing ever stop.I am just exhausted looking at all this.

especially when the college is getting over and everyone wants to just boast around and speak about their acquaintances they had,everyone wants to be more established and less criticized and if fortunate enough even loved more than ever before.

all relationships are improving with an accelerated pace.the enemies neutralized insignificant befriended and friends were no less than beloveds.

but you know what nothing has really changed no matter how hard you try,because your habits may change but your perceptions have gone so deep inside you it can never change,like always it has to get dirty as soon as you try flushing some reality into each others face.and i don't have to go far to look for examples i am a living master to this and even observing many around.

come on man whom are we kidding?

its really funny you pretend to be good to me i pretend to be good to you.and the pathetic part both of us know we are pretending.

like many claim the only solution to this is "just be yourself". how many are we talking about out there fall to this category.

like Amartya sen says...most people are other people their thoughts some one else opinion their lives a quotation.

and you know what i wish for myself ,that please i become that strong that that i go so high that i am inaccessible or i go that low that people find me dirty to access.

but i am no different i am a social entity just like any other man.the only difference is one step of realization that i have taken.have i gone one step ahead or one step behind i cant figure out but yeah its definitely a step different.

i am trying to be back with a stir in my mind a whirl in my heart but i don't know what to write about ...

i would have picked about the general knowledge questions that i had no answers to in my snap exams even after stressing so much on the general awareness booklet that i had tried mugging up last night ..

but then it aint necessary...it aint important..

then i thought of writing ..about sex...aha ...relations uff...girls aha ....juvenile bonds that tried to raise their hands to answer ...

but then whats their in all of this ..

the most important thing is my career orientation..

i am thoroughly confused...people say i am not made for software industry ...but that doesnt give me enough excuses to say that i am an mba kind of guy because the more i tried preparing for mba entrances i have realized that i am not even manager types..

i am more of agriculture based person ...or maybe writing about random shit that is not even noticeable in general awareness...that does not require even managerial skills from mba forget about learning java and .net...

then what am i doing here..in an engineering college .....dragging and pushing myself to career launchers classes every weekend ....

yeah yeah ...i look like a wannabe but then i am not one...

then what is all this leading me to....trying to satisfy my ego ..

so then that approves one point ..i am egocentric self obsessed rascal who just wants to snatch people's dreams like the way infosys was done...but that doesn't make me happy anyways ....what can make me happy?

the answer is simple..

i don't know ...

where do i get the answers then ,....

but this time it is not simple cuz if it was i would have searched for it..

there has been a thousand times when i have googled this question,..but every link just turns into another lecture on happiness ...fuck off

if being happy was that easy beleive me i would have had been an over-achiever...does that word even exist? i doubt so but then even i have learnt 25oo words in my preparation process...

and i have off late realized it hasn't helped me even a bit ...micro molecular spec...!1

but then its a part of it ...how can i deny....

denial is what i need right now ..

good bye..i have got the answer !!

sahib ka salaam!

This college festival i met someone,yes this momentum;she is a girl.but this is not going to be a romantic saga with melodramatic equations and complications.

Its just a relationship nurtured indirectly.

Why indirectly??

Because after momentum i havnt even caught a glimpse of the girl.

we text(modern version of pen pals)and that also when i am awake at odd times and she is half asleep(i could guess that because the frequency of messages sometimes drops down even when she is engrossed in the conversation:i might be sounding chep :P)!!

The one who can think ugly truth can enhance your performance in your test because she loved that movie;likes the pervert scenes purely because of innocence.

But yeah her innocence never barricades her night outs and wild crazy parties.

Even when you are little depressed she suggests "ek aur girl friend bana lo".......not everyday i get such amazing advices!!

She is kind of crazy,always making presentations dunno if its for real or maybe she volunteers for the whole class for making presentations.

Uses the word "lolz" more often than she actually smiles.biggest awaragard in college.

she has generated a thought in me

" life is full of expressions and the biggest achievement is capable of an honest and shameless purgation"

But yes no such beings exists now that can look through your eyes and pick your heart and tell you who you are

A generic tendency that she gets annoyed when people don't respect the silence even when she is mad and yet silent.

And this is for you...

"life is tough........that's bad!!

but that is for everyone...

whats worse...??

when you are tough on yourself......!!

Innocence never fades....

It dies when ...

you stab it with your adulthood!"

you are not an exceptional girl for whom people like me should write but you are not an ordinary one who can be ignored!!

you have put yourself in a cocoon but remember....

cocoons are meant for caterpillars butterflies don't hide themselves in there;

they are meant to fly high and make the world beautiful place....so smile !!

EGO;sea

He cared ,he shared

every duty he faired

I tried,I lied

everything i use to hide.

Sick ,angry he left

call it a public theft.

came a tide of ego big,

swam on a different fig.

Goblets of alcohol i drank

staring at booklets blank.

Ripping every memory apart

What went wrong in the memory cart.

Now water in sea is so less

drowning in it will be a bless.

rising and falling i just feel,

will this cancer just ever heel?

Someday i will return with a plea

to the vast tide in wild sea.

that i will wait at the bank.

just return my friend

or ensure that even i sank.

(poetic license :P:P)

alternate reality#2

Here i sit at six with a night drinking and watching movies,talking about things that are not important at all,yet trying our best to make it sound important.

yes i know you are thinking he is just a wannabe blogger trying to stuff your head and desperate to make you believe that he had the most enriching experiences one can ever have when it comes to such idle good mornings with nothing good about it.

yes you may be correct but in the evolution process i couldn't care less so nevermind, just return to what you were doing rather than reading further.

In case you are sticking around then thank you very much because its true i am one of the crappiest blogger ever been licensed to write with an act of self proclamation when it comes to blogging :P

I just want to tell you one thing all night and for nights i have tried my best to describe the feeling associated to this

HAVE YOU EVER HAVE CARED FOR SOMEONE SO MUCH THAT IT HURTS TO SEE THAT HE/she IS NOT THERE ANYMORE TO RECEIVE IT.

if yes what moral to you get? dont f**k with me becasue i really want to know and its important to me !!

Alternate reality#1

Life is fully of symmetry and man by nature has an affinity towards it.He likes to go by patterns.The your beliefs,principles,and opinions are also a part of it.
But what if you have followed principles the whole life and they were over-ruled by an exception certain accident that changes the direction your life and the reaction is so vehement and vigorous that you just get carried away on this high tide.
Hatred then originates!!
Hate is a baggage too heavy to carry in the small and complicated geometrical circles of life.
It just converts you into something that is not even remotely connected to you.
you start to say that you are just fine and dealing like every second guy taking upon things as they are,but you are so soaked in it that you don't even feel that you are doped with the poison of hate.
Drop the baggage and you feel better
All you need to do is have a little perspective
:)

i dont know what should be the title so i thought better leave it to you sll

There are relationships that you don’t know exists yet they provide you shade in the scorching heat of noon of life. They are not necessarily tagged as a friend, brother, blood relation or any thing for that matter. You have a perception; and that carries the relationship, no matter how many fences you cultivate to keep it in a fixed dimension. It does not know any limits, it just keeps rolling and growing till it is so prominent that you feel a little scared about imagining life without it because you are grown so use to living with it.

 It is just the same feeling when a tree allows a creeper plant to grow near its roots. It grows along with the tree like a true friend sharing the sunshine, the air and water and be there with it in times of joy sorrow and indifference. It makes the tree feel that it is not standing tall alone in the wind. The creeper is always there to protect it and cover it up and so the tree does not feel vulnerable.

 And gradually the tree thinks creeper is creeping and overgrowing it. He doesn’t even get to know that it has become such an integral part of  his life that he would be a lame duck without it.

 And then tree thinks he is suffocated and all his share of sunshine and the nourishment is just absorbed by the creeper. The tree is just so helpless and thinks that he is going to die.

The leaves go pale, the branches are limp and not holding firm. He starts to hate the creeper.

Then tree thinks that the deciding point has come when either he has to just give up and wait for its organs to decay or he can fight. And he fights. forgetting the fact that he is fighting the same soul that he chose as a friend and the one who has done so many things for him.

With time the creeper is gone, it cant live forever.

And then tree covered with the decaying creeper branches realises it. Leaves left soggy and rotten. It reminds the tree of days when they use to be green together. The pink petals of creeper flowers amalgamated with the yellow flowers of tree use to look like a rainbow.

With the heat the creeper dead remains just withers from the bark of the tree just like the skin peeled off from the black cobra's body every season. Then he feels how secluded he is and craves for the time to travel back.

And the tree stands alone with the memories of the creeper fighting the scorching heat. It now regrets the time when he thought the creeper was snatching his share of nourishment. How foolish he was. That was because creeper wanted to cover him so nice and dense that nothing can harm the tree.Why did he argue with the creeper? 

Alas! the creeper is gone and the tree just lost in the guilt.

Waiting for the one chance to say sorry to his creeper friend.

The nice people whom you meet and they really care are those creepers which never let you know that how much they love you that they want you to stay safe and nice at the expense of themselves. And you are just like that selfish tree who later laments that why didn’t he appreciate them in the right moment of time. If you are one amongst them then come join me. Even I am one of those stupid creature who never paid any attention to my creepers 

A reason to all

i am a drunkard,i seem lost.

drunk in the oceans of grief,

lost in organizing dreams.

yet,from dusk to dawn,

i try then yawn!

i am a criminal,i have killed.

crime of hiding the truth,

killed the desires i had.

yet,from dusk to dawn

i try then i yawn.

i am melancholy,i have cried.

melancholy for thins i have lost,

cried for things i want.

yet from dusk to dawn  

i try then i yawn.

i am dark,i am tainted

dark for the positive,

tainted soul is mine.

yet from dusk to dawn 

i try then i yawn.

i am a life,i have lived.

life for a reason,happiness and affection,

lived with reasonless,sadness and rejection.

But from dusk to dawn

i try but cant yawn!!

Too happy to write and too tired to sleep 

lies

worth for

lies for living

lies for killing

truth.

glossless and timid

lies

flawless and vivid

passing time..

no to wonder but to ponder..

captured in shots...

with numerous erratic blots..

my shirt.

dirty smelly and sweaty..

winters

dry lonely and difficult..

money ..

loss!lost!wasted!

breeze..

chilly and sadistic..

faces..

blank pale and strecthed..

clothes ..

damp and cold..

room

sleepy and dark..

thoughts
rotten and timid..

shoes

suffocating the travel.

birds..

abandoned

friends..

CURFEWED NIGHT

The stories in Kashmir are never good either they are ambiguous,disdain or very sad.

Bashrat peer lines are very simple yet true to an extent of brutality.

I recently picked up a book from new friends colony,adjacent to the famous AL-bake with a sole motive of time pass but turned out to be a mind psychedelic revelation.

The book is lavishly unencumbered by jargon.Though the author being a journalist lacks the spice of entertainment. 

In fact at times the book seems to be crammed with facts that it is on the brink of swallowing your patience as a reader and you say 

"easy boy easy". 

But within a split of second you realise that its not the boy's fault. He has seen so much happen in his childhood and his heart is eager to eject every ounce of pus that has been formed over years in the wounds for a reason that shouts you are a Kashmiri Muslim.

There are references that might leave you in tears.

A small incident where a daughter drops her pajama when her father in law asks her to open the window saying "KHOL DO" due to fear of being raped.

There are methods used by Indian army where they rape,kill,slaughter,kidnap and push children with landmine in their hand to jihadi bunkers.

Such is the explanations that it sometimes overshadow the popular and cherished claim of democracy and secularism.

Its beautifully hurtful.The voice of Kashmir seem so powerful that it almost dethrones every voice in you as an Indian and just a misty sense of self consciences is trying to breathe its final moments of

 "PROUD TO BE AN INDIAN".

Truly amazing,sarcastically poetic and very engrossing.

A must read for every humanitarian soul alive in this country that has a state bought for seventy five lakhs called 

KASHMIR 

Dance of life

The sand blew and the clouds grew.

Was it raining or the sky was mourning.

His dad threw him out,

Lost and lonely he walked the silent path,

Silent yet melancholy, melancholy yet not pitiable. 

Lad was sobbing, sobbing made him shudder.

The shuddering was the dance of life......

 

Known to the known, yet very unknown 

Reached the marsh, marsh was  dry.

Tears streamed down the eyes.

Dryness soaked in his tears.....

Marsh was again alive

Tears that were for dad, dad suffocated his childhood.

Darker than darkest, he saw faces.

Faces that were painted, painted in black, grey and blue

But white faces were very few.

People rushed with cold vibes in zigzag.

Avoiding a collision with him.

The pattern of avoidance was dance of life.....

 

 

Wolves howling, caricatures climbing,

The artist in boy learnt to make faces.

Faces black, grey and blue.

Those asking for white were very few....

Winter came early in life, life brought calm.

Calmness spread its sheet in the life.

Boy smoked, drank and was making merry...

But he craved for faces; faces not grey black and blue...

But for white those only were very few.

The desires and dreams still existed in dreams.

Huh.....The dance of life.

 

Always painting in his cottage, cottage locked.

Lock tight, keys thrown in the river,

Some river cried...streams of white water rushed downstream.

There were knocks, knocks to be avoided.

Some called for him, others respected his seclusion,

Others were furious and abused...

But what for the knocking was the dance of life??

 

Knock knock..

One was the coldest knock ever,

The artist raised his eyes,

He knew death had come, to ease him.

To release him.

Take him to where he truly belong...

He threw all his painted faces...

Water from the river spilled all over.

It was horrible....

The death clasped him....

This was the dance of life....

 

People still come to make faces...

Faces black grey and blue...

But the one with white are few.....

 

IF I ....talk to my heart

If i were in love i would have had said .....
What I do and what I dream includes the one i love as the wine must taste of its own grapes.


If i would have had thought of makin the relationship work i would have had said.....
Love is a short sighted lava, erupts and then subsides. And when it subsides you have to make a decision. You have to work out whether your roots are so strongly entangled together that it is inconceivable that you should ever part. Because this is what love is. Love is not breathlessness, it is not excitement, it is not the promulgation of promises of eternal passion. That is just being "in love" which any of us can convince ourselves we are. Love itself is what is left over when being in love has burned away, and this is both an art and a fortunate accident.
It's so easy, To think about Love, To Talk about Love, To wish for Love, But it's not always easy, To recognize Love, Even when we hold it.... In our hands.

If i had to wait for her i would have had said .....
The things that you really want,you may not get that,because sometimes you don't make an effort up to mark and sometimes they are not destined to be.
Unfortunately i fall to the first category and i like to keep trying till the time my dream mirror is do not break ,and then re broken, till the time the mirror pieces turn into churns and dust of silver that glows and glitters which make you bleed when you touch them.
Maybe i am waiting for the time to be sure these dunes of glassy sand will make my castle.but since when did sand started to create castles.whom am i fooling.an apparent endeavour to let know and let be .
things might fall of track ..
I wish i could kiss you because a kiss is a lovely weapon, created by nature, to stop words when speech is incapable of expression.

If i would have had been waiting to see her walk away i would have had said.....
I tried to make wine but the aerobic respiration is making it poisoness gradually.
I finally can see things fading away,my chances growing feeble,the pulse about to stop yet i don't wish to stop and i am ready to drink the goblet of poison which i am tendering and attending to.

If i would have had loved you i would have had said .....
I miss you even more than I could have believed and I swear i was prepared to miss you a good deal.

FRIENDS::are we close or we are closed

finally i am drawn back after long long time.
every time i try to reach this place back i get lost because this is just as "the room of requirement " of the harry potter.you can not forcefully reach here ..its only when you are spontaneous and words are strongly felt you pick this blog space.
My path to it was guided by a strange feeling tonight aroused by personal demeanor to the linked listing of testimonial reading on the popular social networking site orkut.
I started to wonder what has happened to the term :friendship.
when the college started we joined hands to walk straight towards our common goal with fresh promises of being best buddies and closest pals.we gave short and sweet names to each other,worked diligently to make each other happy with tiffins and ice creams,small meets outside college that bashed about ridiculous Hindi movies,good Hollywood flicks in few joints of pizza hut,food court and baskin robins.
Gradually they grew up to birthday treats as well where people discussed about ridiculous college,absurd timings,opposite sex and hangovers .
The extended hands were together when few chose to make 'someone special' from the communion itself where "joining hands" turned to "holding hands" and tender caress.
what we materialised as Da kewl gang turned into a stabilised and well fomented icon of friendship
the cellphone cameras and 'pics/snaps' folder on laptops were flooded with pictures that could make celestial promises of staying together forever forever.....forever.
But what happens next.. does life takes a toll?did the boat in which all of us were sailing towards the common goal toppled?were we lost during the earthquake? or was it a tornado that swept us all and carried us in its wings to different direction so that we can never be together again?
NO nothing of that sorts ever happened, yet very tactfully and skillfully very similar to the way the Pangea became the continents we drifted miles and miles away from each other .............................
The gathering that were there, turned into a ritual to be performed just in order to pretend that we are still close.The discussions became endless and pauses turned into 'hey wazzup'.why these Communions don't seduce my spirits and has remained the way of pleasure retention for my soul like they were before.why has the same people not remained with us?
And today the miracle child asks me why did this happen?was it deliberate?was it holding all grey and ulterior motives?
Are we still close or we have closed and done with all this ?
My answer is though far fetched because even i have failed to understand that when we became friends we had things in common,now we turned out to be absolute strangers in terms of traits and behaviour.Friendship was not a forced hackneyed idea for us.It was a contemporary concept where we picked them unlike our ancestral bhajans and keertans yet we have failed to perform the friendship ritual faithfully as well......
Do i need to say we are absolutely confused genes which lacks the trend of introspection .
NO i am not done ..i wish to express more but then i cant bear it along because i am also one of the culprits !!

INDIAN AND AAMIR

The existence of Muslims in our country has never been a question of discussion but their behavioral characteristic has always plunged the modern Jinnah and Nehru into the deepest and rigorous debates.
The country widely pronounces its tolerance for cultural equinox as well as claims to have room for diversity. It is said that India supports more Muslims than even nations with cultural abyss, say Pakistan.
But like always promises widely differs from what is crawling on the pragmatic grounds. Its not only about giving space and food to eat.
The snails have long eaten the roots of brand equity called Hindu Muslim unity and the damage is irreparable to an extent that even the fine spring of cosmopolitan tradition haven’t healed much of the wounds created by the havoc.
And the ignorance not only comes from the illiterate rural areas subdued in the large cultural difference but also from the educated congregations.
Recently I saw a movie called AAMIR where the protagonist a highly educated classified doctor is forced through communion of tremors and accidents and physiologically knelt to surrender to the agents of misanthropy and iconoclasm.
He struggles till the end and that is where it becomes so very evident that how vulnerable he is and in a situation like him only few can survive the blow. The protagonist does so though, but what need to be understood is that everyone is not AAMIR.
We cannot just behave like one meek Gandhi’s monkey shutting the eyes and doubling the cover by putting hands on the eyes. What we really need to do is not an obsolete but an absolute cultural acceptance, which evolves from true philanthropist existence, when people see their countrymen dieing in the battles and terrorist tussles their tolerance towards each other vanishes resulting to a division of a mighty gushing stream of Indians into smaller distributaries called Hindus and Muslims.
This should be the antonym of the classical idea of what we call modern society.

Three/4 mistakes of my life

I was at my friend's place and fortunately unfortunate enough, or maybe unfortunately fortunate enough, or fortunately fortunate maybe, or unfortunately unfortunate ,but whatever fortune factor was there because i forgot to carry any of my engineering books in order to pretend that after a horrendous semester performance I am worried about my exams and wont be studying last night this time.

So I had to engage myself something better than facebook involving into buying people or their photographs at the Application OWNED and disillusioned that I am some sort of brat who can fetch IT!!

So then I wikified the wonky shelf of novel corner of my friend's elder sister and found the new release
The three mistakes of my life~Chetan Bhagat!!!!
And then I made my mistakes
My first mistake:: picked the book::
Second mistake:: read it::
Third mistake:: completed it::
Fourth:: i am writing about the book::
No fourth one is actually dicey thing to say as of now because I don't think any body so pseudo intellectually strong ever bothers to read CHETAN BHAGAT!

The story is basically about a man Govind Patel from Belrampur(Gujarat) who writes a suicide email to Mr Chetan Coelho I mean Chetan Bhagat after popping sleeping pills.
Actually the book should be named as
"Govind decides to die”
or
“Chetan wants to become Paulo Coelho"
And the heights of shamelessness is attained when he directly produces lines from 11 minutes. Seems someone is too ignorant to even think that readers are not as dumb as he is.
Then seems Chetan is quite impressed by hackneyed ideologies of Indian film directors who put item songs for mirchi masala in the movie.

Cricket rules India that is true but what he cant understand is cricket is not what sentient readers prefer reading about all the time.

Anyways in between his reminder clock strikes his ninth mind bell and he decides to put in the ghastly intercourse of five point someone or maybe as a scholar he has dark little fantasy of watching professor and sex together. But then India is ranked second after Pakistan when it comes to watching porn and "Penthouse" has record breaking sales in India. So he doesn’t have to make it cheesy and campy it has already got enough to make it Farah Khan’s next movie even with Nana Patekar as Govind.

Trying to portray a typical cynical Mr Narendra Modi's mystical saffron Gujarat what Chetan has forgotten is even though he has shifted to Singapore India is not relying for him for any development. Things have taken giant strides when it comes to change of saffron canvas here. But then our IITian dude is the coolest Dood when it comes to writing about

HIS INDIA : Murderland!

Guajarati’s will never like it because it is even worse than

Madame` Italy Sonia Gandhi unleashed

COMMUNALISM AND COWARDMENT/GOVERNMENT IN GUJARAAATTT!!

pondered thought!

Something you always try to find and something you are not aware of but as a social entity your primary attribute is the trait of searching for your replica, whenever you meet individuals here and there. And your friends are here because they are the least intolerable of all the people you meet .

mango-shake::cold-coffee`no electricity`

As a boy I am very perplexed. When it comes to handling my personal sightings. I am like any other normal college going student with an amalgamation of colour be it grey blue or even black. But then I am also a human being how can I have only lighter shades I need to carry my doom along.
When I try to be alone and don’t share my set of problems with anyone my friends say I am so mechanical and suffer from personal obsession and superiority complex that I am more mature than others. But the reality is am scared people might make fun of my ailment so I don’t like talking about it.
And this probably is not my problem.
Have you ever thought how many times you have ever bothered to listen to the reply from the person whom you asked a moment ago how are you.
do it not because you have to do it but becasue you like to do it!!

Lion king
::do not be upset if bloggers community gives a life time banishment

Yeah this Monday evening when I came back home there was no electricity and in the pitch of darkness a pack of hounds (swarm of my hit spray friendly mosquito friends) greeted me. They are like the gushing wind (as the shadows) because you can feel them (in fact the pain inflicted is quite memorable one) but cannot see them and if lucky get to touch few bastards that are too fat to fly after feasting on my sweet blood (my girlfriend says I taste bitter though:: of course I do not believe her because she keeps biting me every now and then).
Anyways I was not going to discuss these ridiculed creature or here to describe that my girlfriends taste buds has gone wild and she should consult a doctor, because before going to the doctor she should go to the mental hospital for the fact that she can bear me as her boy friend.
And If she is not visiting the mental hospital then I should probably get admitted to asylum for three reasons:
· First if she is not visiting the mental hospital because she is not mad till time then probably the most rational reasoning is she is crankier than me and then the responsibility falls to me that I will go crazy if I be with her so I should go to asylum.
· Secondly there is no better idea to dump your girlfriend than this because you don’t have to break a heart because you have already broken the ****.
· And thirdly the shit pots at asylum are really cool and you never get constipated. Constipation is a really bad problem here in Gurgaon you have to keep farting here and there, and keep polluting the environment ( you wont believe I just farted) and the most terrible thing is that fart word reminds me of my Sanskrit teacher now just don’t be ridiculous to ask me why I think that way, because I respect such creatures called teachers. No you can ask every teacher who teaches me specially saDNN no don’t worry I don’t fart when they make me stand.
Anyways what was I talking about I just got carried away and don’t think it was because of me it was a hideous attempt to get rid of my girlfriend I mean get rid of the mosquitoes.
This is a result of Robert’s food ,Haider’s company, siddhart’s jokes and these moder fucker mosquitoes biting me at three this morning.
Hey please note that I don’t have a girlfriend I just wanted to check out that am I that horrible that I can degrade myself to this extent to just prove that girls are insane.
I just wanted be my self for once as I am a manipulative jerk (refer to initial post for further details)
My god you are still reading just check the nearby asylum its really cool.

Sudds of ITM::first member!!

These are few amazing questions by Ms Deepna Verma a very promising member of the supandi club.
what do you call the knee of a bee??
BI-KI-NI!!!!
What do you call a soldiers wife climbing stairs??
CHADHTI JAWANI !!

mai aur mere chicken pox

hey!
finally i am back with some ishtupid business of writing all gibberish under the abducted shield of so called MY PRIVATE LITERATURE.
As i have recently gone through my excavation strategy and concluded that i have absolutely nothing to write about so i thought of writing about my recent chicken pox event. yeah it was all in all a hip-hop-rap-happening event.
don't worry i wont get into micro level details about the serum colour and red rashes,otherwise you will feel puckish or maybe again kicking my ass.
so starting with the fact that i got some really amazing designs on my stomach something resembling to the constellation stars but not creating a scorpion. and the design pattern at my shoulder and neck was really cool,they could beat any tattoo design even the ones at our annual tech fest tattoo making competition.
The day to day activities changed drastically and vella panti crossed all heights .there was nothing i could do other than getting laid(with pillows ofcourse) because i had no options. cant tell you where these bloody cute pimples or pimps got into.spare my ass they didn't even leave the organs...can you believe that? i never knew that such pimples or sores are nymphomaniac females as per species count. they were all over my d**k. got spare me. an erection could have been disastrous. now imagine a person like me not getting it ....so don't believe but yeah i couldn't mas***b*te the whole week...A WEEK WITHOUT IT !!
And now comes the what the F incident of my amazing college.....on Monday i had my OOPS practical exams as i was not in a position to even sit...now don't ask be why...someone with cute pimpled face kissed my a** so i had it all over there.
So now i was like(to my HOD cse) :sir i am down with chicken pox since past Saturday so please shift my exam slot....he then said you should have had informed me on Friday itself...i was like what the f..kya mere ko sapne arhe thhe that mere ko cicken pox hone wale hain......
anyways all thanks to my teachers and externals and their hiiiiiiiiiigh level of cooperation.....
chalo enough of vellapanti lets just finish this .........!!

a tribute to study of relationships

Recently watching a song called salaame (nayee raat hogee …something like that) from movie DHOOM I was keenly observing junior Bachchan and Uday Chopra and their facial turbulence that was evident on the camera. How they were reacting to, thwarted themselves.
I was just thinking that ten years down the line they will be so differently accustomed to films.
One is the famous producer’s kiddo who wants to act, ignorant to the fact that his expressions are topped with oodles of overacting and dollops of annoyance. The father is trying hard to get is son achieve his dreams but alas!!
On the other side is Abhishek. Well I won’t like to comment as the name is sufficient to let things go, the aura pulsates the atmosphere.
So then what happens within a decade …..
Abhishek becomes the most established actor of the Hindi film industry and Uday Chopra becomes one of the tycoon ,throwing and spilling money, producing ventures mostly with Abhishek of course.
So what I see is how things can take off too. Though if they can introspect and think about their future these stars can obviously come to their correct linage of future but these people lack and hoi polloi (including me) have in plenty and that’s hunger for thoughts.

Sudds of ITM::rotten jokes!

...a bunch of cranky people who are definitely humans by origin but just after their premature mental birth they were transported to some lalaland called "tumbaktu". And since then they have not agreed to be back to the normal world of humans.But then they are better than us in the sense that they have proved that world is all about reasoning in a highly distinguished way.


The speciality of this bunch is there particular style of pj recitation the blends so well with their superb personality...


The club comprises of members basically from computer science and IT branch...maybe the adverse effect of technology was never so pronounced in my world... few big titans like Megha Wadhwa ,Ankna Kukreja,Siddharth Singh,Karmveer Bindra,Deepna Verma,Priyanka Kapoor and Anousha Venkat.


People who come online in the evening to recite their rotten and hideous Pjs and believe me they are not Pjs but questions with ultra-abso-fuckingly deadly answers which can just make you sick.!


But then they are great people around who can change your world and your level of thinking....in fact these creatures have influenced my notorious "profound thinking" trait and it has just vanished!!**Life is much more better now**


So i want to dedicate my blog to such a throng ..the ignited minds of the college.So i have decided i will be posting each and every joke-cum-question they are going to ask me.....


please bear along as you can check out some inspiring stuff here [:p]

avowal....can this make someone happy???

wake up ...as i am back....make fun of me ..... for i am back...criticise me ... yeah i am back .....but read me .....as i have plenty to vomit....i am back because off late i have realised that my albatross is not gone....probably it never can.....yeah i am a bin for him...but then i am not left....he hates me .....sick of me....but then i succeeded....he is not indifferent towards me...yeah he is leaving....and he doesn't want to be associated to some manipulative jerk!!
And what makes me a jerk....
I always dreamt of the wild black mustang. The royal shine that it possesses, the black that glitters like pearl to show how magnanimous it can be for the rider. People said wild mustangs are not to be tamed, they are not faithful. Riding them is really dangerous because one moment the rider is filled with pride galloping in the grasslands and the other moment (before lightning strikes and then thunders) the rider can fall off. The pride just vanishes dumping you in the mud of humiliation.
But then that’s the fun.
I always use to crave for a mustang though I had a akhal teke.
I always use to wonder where to find this mound of fame . Wandering on unknown ventures till one day my mind spotted it. The gold black mustang. I could easily recognise my share of fame. And then …..Began the chase!! .
I had some dreams and I chased them with all my strength .I was on my horse, wild and mighty. I applied all the mental and physical tricks I could apply and that came to my mind in order to chase the wild black mustang. And I was not wrong.
And when the ninth moon rose this month I felt as If I have risen from a deep sleep. A sleep that changed me and my thoughts. Because when I have achieved it I realise that I have lost something else that cant be back, something that I shouldn't have had bet. My horse!! I have hurt my horse and every time I look at it I realise that how tainted I have become …..this was not me…..indifferent and stoic towards my horse, my people, my principles and my true self!!
..........................................................
those who couldn't understand let me state some facts ...!!but come to me because i am no less than "wannabe" ......

This is my last blogpost......as my albatross is going to take off!

DESTINY IS A POWERFUL WORD. You can discard it with the hefty and obscure interlocution of faith and confidence and you claim that you are swimming in the river of life in the direction you want to. But to be very honest you realise that you are not swimming, instead you are flowing. It is not your will that is deciding for you but the current of the river does it. And since you are comfortably numb you don’t realise that your definition of freedom has been gradually altered.
Even I was one amongst the swathe but as I say destiny is a very powerful word it cooed to me in my ears “stop being comfortably numb welcome to existence!”
The life began with a splendid show as I started as one happy and enthusiastic sailor who wasn’t aware of the enriched and vibrant life of the sea. Life was bright, sunny, cloudless and gentle wind blew. I had plenty to prove and plenty to learn. But before I could grow into an experienced sailor with a throttle of confidence I experienced the prowess of destiny. Destiny is a powerful word I believe.
Suddenly cold wind started to blow and it grew dark. I looked at the growling and roaring sea and prayed to calm down. But alas a strong tyrannous and ghastly storm took me on its strong wings of wind and dumped me to some unknown land.
The sea that I had as the family refused to take me back into it. I felt awful. I wanted to prove that I am his own. I slashed my wrist and down came the stream of blood that dropped to the sea. But I was flabbergasted when the blood refused to mix with the salty sea water. Then the sea roared at his top of the voice that the blood I always believed was flowing in my veins had come from the salty sea water, is not actually its. Because the blood is not capable to show its royalty. I a failed sailor can’t be mighty sea’s son. The sea humiliated me saying I belong to some rotten marsh that has ceased to exist. I was ripped into pieces, my soul howled in pain but I tried my best to hide my anger and agony. Every night I promised myself I won’t cry till next night. And no one will get to know about my torment and anguish. But destiny is a powerful word….
I said nothing but my slashed wrist screamed a lot. I was back sailing in the sea.
The sea got harsh than before, it was hot and cruel .Water was every where but all salty, it reminded me of the blood I never belonged to and so I decided I will never drink and I drank my own blood when I was thirsty. I was left in seclusion.
Then came a day when a very strong and beautiful albatross came to my withered boat and sat. It said nothing but I felt it was here to be for me. Here to take me away from this cruel sea. and I started dreaming of living with him under his wings.
It touched my wound and miffed. And it gradually started to heal. He allowed me to sleep under the soft canopy of wings. All the suffering was gone(ALL!!)
My faith grew stronger day by day that this truly belongs to me and the albatross stayed. He said nothing but his silence let my hope grow. I thought maybe I should learn to listen to the silence and I tried my best.
And one day the albatross said he is not going to stay here forever and started to spread its wings to take the flight. He said he has too many things to do and he can’t concentrate on me right now. He said he has a future to look forward to. And I couldn’t say anything because he was correct. I was one abandoned kid who belongs to no one. And it is not the albatross that destiny had sent for me. It wasn’t his fault but where was I wrong?
Probably no one has the answer too. Because as I said DESTINY IS A POWERFUL WORD!! I wish I could prove my saying wrong but I have no albatross by my side to do that!
So here existed the blog for the albatross who made me a different person altogether. And now when he is about to fly I am not strong enough to keep visiting the corner where my albatross sat, so I am shutting this corner forever. I am not going to write, something I use to love the most. This is the punishment I deserve for myself.

The art of living for a teenager

Personally I believe truth lies beneath the shadow of existence as life is more like a continuum rather than eggs of the wind consequently being good and acting with the right opinion are two different aspects of subject matter.
The highest form of human excellence is to question our self.
Moral excellence is more a matter of divine bequest than parental nurture so we shouldn't blame our parents for everything we do. Our actions should have full faith on our self. As our wisdom is limited to an awareness of our own ignorance and being an active interlocutor of celestial conversation the best way for us to live is to focus on self-development rather than the pursuit of material wealth.

hi!!
finally i am home.it feels great to be here.
speaking about the journey,respite of the numerous wishes of happy and safe journey from idea hutch airtel and mtnl sim card holders i had a horrifying experience travelling in a sleeper class.
They could not save me from the great trap of stinking cocoon but yeah they were of great help when i wanted to sleep ...i read and reread them,i was bored till death and i slept.

In the morning i guess the the sun rays came to my compartment and reached my face much before it hit JAPAN(land of rising sun). Then i heard some alienated birds chirping in my compartment in a croaking voice....out of curiosity i peeped out of my rugged blue blanket to have a look at the bird, and to my great shock it looked like a BLACK homo sapien in red and purple stripped pyjamas.I recalled that my train had not started from eleven and half quarters, but the compartment had changed into room full of claokless witches and wizards and i was the only muggle left.
Scandalised to the extent i opened my eyes wide open and then came the realisation that they were not magical creatures but the whole orriya and bengali community chitchatting on the top of their voice.
So finally i woke up (as if i wanted to ) and was hungry as i had skipped my dinner last night.Thus i grabbed my brush and headed towards the steel yet reddish brown basin.To my surprise there was Little water dripping so i decided to clean my teeth nicely(judicious way of spending time)so i put a lot of paste on my brush and started enthusiastically.the reaction of paste wid saliva was vigorous and it started to burn.I tried to fetch some water from the tap but till then the water was gone. It was going unbearable so i rushed towards the pantry car for a bottle of water and in between i had a collision with the bathroom door that was suddenly opened by a big fat bengali lady...i got up as fast as i could and mumbled sorry and started my 200 mtr Marathon with the same "never say die attitude" leaving behind the abusing lady

Finally i reached the ultimate destination. no don't think that i got the bottle there ......because there i realised that my wallet is in the bag i was using as a pillow ...some how i managed water there(dont ask what did i pay).there i cleaned myself and munched the chilled toast frosted boiled egg and normal temperature coke.

while i was walking back to my compartment somebody as humming the tune "i walk the lonely roads on the boulevard of broken dreams"
when i reached my compartment the bengali community was fighting with the orriya regarding the way manmohan singh speaks .thanks to the fat lady i was busy tending my new whipped ankle where the pink flesh was smiling (on me).
so left with no option i sat on my berth trying to read india today about the recent political turmoil of nawaz sherif and Bhutto.....but trust me nothing can be read when u sit next to an auntie who can kill you with just raising her arms.....no not by her aura but the stink out from her armpits..i guess orissa really lacks in perfume soap and deodorant. and the best happened when i dozed off.
By the time i woke up i realised that my station was going to come at 2 10 n the noon and it was already 5 .But fortunately the cosmic jinx was broken and the train was running late by three hours.so then my station came in five minutes and i came out of IT.
so i had a great time !!
neways how are you people going??
stay in touch because i am loving these mountains but these mountains really hate network be it airtel idea or hutch.
o keep mailing and try to be online at eight
cyao

Glossary of institute of technology and management

Ever since I came to this college I have always wondered and pondered about the peculiarity of this college. It has got codes about everything. It speaks a different language apparently parallel to the normal language of communication. In fact you learn fresh ABC theme here. So I started noting the encryption and deciphering it .and now I am all set to share it with you. Here it goes…….

A for Attendance: This is what tops the priority list of the students here as lions share of internal assessment is on the basis of this. The scope for proxy is very nominal which makes the scenario worse. And that is precisely why the loudest hues and biggest fuss during any event here is “what about attendance…will we get 100000000000000000% percent attendance for participating ??” what ever be the event.
B for Bunking: It is like denim pants in the wardrobe. It is never out of fashion, you feel very comfortable when you are in it and you are never bored of it. Ask the novices and they say “I am loving it”
C for Canteen: The only place where you can mark cent percent attendance. It is the best place you can ever think of when it comes to completion of lab manuals ,tutorial sheets and of course EGD sheets
D for Discipline: yeah whatever…next please!!
E for Engineers
F for Fine: It is all about cell phones. If it has to be your bad then you take out of your pocket and you see blue uniforms approaching you. No matter how many times you try to argue that you were not using it the princely amount of fine is to be paid.
G for Greenwood: café greenwood a place dedicated to the bunking swathe for activities not to be mentioned if I want this to be on college magazine. It also wait for your cabs and enjoy the glued jittery maggy. You can sit there till you have mowed every inch of grass that came in your palm.
H for Himani: A complete guide to score decent when you are barely acquainted with the subject or even authors name of the subject book you are going to appear tomorrow.
I for Internal assessment : The sole reason behind the high level of endurance when it comes to sitting in the lectures, submission of tutorial sheets and decent code of conduct in the class
J for Jai mata di gang: A sentient throng who is never ashamed to reveal itself during the college fest. Literally the show stoppers. Sometimes they tend to confuse the participant and sometimes excite them. But whatever maybe the upshot these guys are definitely no less than celebrities here.
K:
L for LSE : The London school of economics, the most volatile part of the college to be more precise with transparent fumes. Their presence can be felt but you cannot see them. In case you catch a glimpse be happy.
M for Momentum: The only refreshing week where you see teachers bunking and letting you get out of the class midway in between the lectures.
N for Notice boards: The most happening and updated part of the walls of the college building always full of news, be it fine, suspension, or attendance shortage list. We also tend to see posters and advertisements of events going to be organised in some far off land (maybe IIT KGP or POWAI) the very next day and the super sonic jet also cant help you attend it.
O for Orkut: The social networking mode of our college where N people send (N-1)! Strangers friends requests with (2N-1)! Stupid reasons like I read your profile…you are KEWL respite of knowing that they are never going to be accepted .People discuss “hey dude /whats up/lollzz../okies/chal/gn/ tc bye/” ??
P for placements: Believe in the best, but request MDU examiners for the rest.
Q for Queries:
R for Restrooms: One of the safest place to check your messages because there are no cameras installed there.
S for Supplementary: neighbours envy owners pride. It is inversely proportional to the number of sheets you fill in the exam and is independent of the coefficient of “good answer”
T for Tutorial sheets: The most irrelevant piece of A4 size white sheet with questions written in maybe Arabic/French but certainly not in a language possibly known to us. But yes the answers are always ready to be submitted because one chap in the college cracks the code and the smarter ones copy it and that too with the corresponding spelling mistakes.
U for University: the most wonderful university in the country where we have exams on 1st of January and Christmas eve, and the session starts the very next day when exam ends.
V for Volley ball: The scorching heat is bearable or the rainy afternoon is enjoyable if there is volley ball match going on “volley khelne chale??” This is the best offer one can make when he wants you to understand that you are one of his best buddies in the college.
W for Water taps: The two most important landmarks of the college, when you feel like meeting someone who is not in your section or stream or year. A very clean and cold water supply unit where you can stand and discuss about upcoming events and plan your work in the next lecture like lets play Hollywood-bollywood or maybe lets complete the tut sheet.
X for Xeroxing: It is all about machines. Most of us are not good enough at multi tasking. So while chatting and messaging how can we copy down notes in the class. But don’t worry in the reference section there stands the magic man. You just give him a penny and you get to know what engineering academic material is all about
Y for Year back: Off late only few get the honour off availing this opportunity. It comes when you feel like bidding goodbye to the college
Z for Zoo: It is a zoo where you find all breeds of social animals chitchatting in a language known to very few……..I am still trying to figure out what do they talk about!!

short message service(SMS)

The new year has come .With all the enthusiasm and willingness it brought it also poured in a lot of messages ....the messages from well wishers like shruti,ankit,rahul and abhishek.
and thanks to these guys who think that their name is unique of all the names.
No i didn't demand to enquire about the marital status,sexual orientation,virginity and cup size.all i requested was the surname so that i can appreciate the fact that you thought of me on the great day of "paranormal celebration" !!
But anyways i was overwhelmed with the way people sent their heartiest greetings,so thankyou very much and wish you all a very happy new year too!

2008!!

BUT is it the correct time??
A time to be born,and a time to die.
A time to plant,and a time to pluck.
A time to kill,and a time to heal.
A time to weep,and a time to laugh.
A time to embrace,and a time to refrain
A time to get,and time to lose
A time to remain silent,and a time to speak
A time to love,and a time to hate
A time i say!!!

Bollywood is a fantasy factory. Its products do not aim to explain the world around us where as art has always been the best arm to explain the life of human being.

MY COMPLAINTS FROM MEDIA

The media has two main aspects, as a part of what is known as information industry and as a factor in the formulation of opinion. In both respects, it has to act with responsibility to be effective or reliable. The Press is still the main medium of mass communication. Besides its educative role, it can help in exposing the weaknesses of the democratic system and point out how these can be rectified. This two-way traffic enables the Press to maintain an important and strong link between the public and the system
But the face of electronic and print media is no longer inclined towards the work of making the readers and viewers sentient of the parameters of the incidents and developments transpiring across the globe. It has been metamorphosed into some corporate modus operandi of selling the products. It has been commercialised beyond its elastic limits. None of the channels available today is ready to project the gross of the occurrence, instead all it cares for is the total rating points.
Going by the standards, journalism is the discipline of gathering, writing and reporting news, and broadly it includes the process of editing and presenting the news articles which should be unencumbered by jargon. It is mesmerising indeed to see a good piece of work travelling to continents through various hands
Books are not only a piece of written material it is a wave that travels across the oceanic world of voracious and awaiting readers and formulates the opinion of a wide swathe with different cultural and political background. So it should be cent percent filtered truth rather than personal fictions and fantasies. But it is very unfortunate to accept that the people who scratch their living (active or passive)have failed to understand their responsibility as the shapers of the society, they are vulgarizing and brutalising the society instead of purifying and sanctifying it. A new mutation of iconoclasm has brought enlightenment to a standstill. These days too many channels are chasing too little news. So the crowd is no longer interested in what the news is instead they are much more interested in personal opinions People want to know about people who are writing not about what they are writing. The prime focus is no longer to act like a bridge between action and report, instead it has become a school of inattention where people listen to it without hearing which has exponentially increased the lack of trust with entanglement of rumours culminating to cynical ideologies and principles. Enlightenment has been a long forgotten story...
.

profound desire

"I want to be the change i want from the society"

pondered paradox:

"our culture is glorified by non-violence but our freedom was born in blood and our independence is soaked in it!!"

My FMORT

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i am tagged by http://umangexuberance.blogspot.com/

Everything tells me that i am about to make a wrong decision,but making mistakes is just part of life.What does the world want of me??does it wants me to take no risks,go back to where i came from so that i can repent that i never had the courage to say yes to life.life brings realisation,realisation that opportunity only knocks once...and so i should grab whatever it has to offer!Everything here is an illusion and this applies to materialistic as well as non-materialistic things as well.Anything i thought was mine forever was lost and finally i have realised that nothing really belonged to me.And if there is nothing i can tag as mine then what is the point wasting time looking after them....so i want to live beacuse i am not going to live long!